The Freak-Ass-Bitch pasta with Not-So-Lazy Sauce
so when you are feeling too lazy/tired to make pasta sauce entirely from scratch, but the stuff you get in a jar at the store is too thin and boring for your taste - make a tasty base for the sauce.start with shallots and garlic, cut em up, throw em onto olive oil that already warmed up on medium heat. season those babies (i used sea salt, black peppercorns)start your pasta water boiling in a different (hehe) pot.once those are getting simmery and golden when you toss them around - add chopped veggies (in my case yellow and red bell pepper, cuz they look pretty together, but you can add zucchini, tomato, mushrooms, whatever). add more seasoning (i added mustard seeds, coriander seed, chili powder).water should be boiling at this point, dump in your choice of pasta. i went for campanelle, cuz i never tried it before and it looked weirdly neat at the store. like a mix between a flower and a fungus! i bet it looks fucking creepy and fantastic with morel mushrooms (Leks pipes in saying they look like hollowed-out zombie dick)finish your chilled bourbon while the stuff is cooking!pour your canned pasta sauce onto the cooked veggies, turn the heat down to low - you don’t want the sauce to boil - just gotta mix it with the veg and get it nice and hot.time to cut the cheese. i went for rugged mature british cheddar - it’s nice and sweaty, with ample calcification - which i fucking LOVE. slice it thinnish. we are going to crumble that stuff onto the hot drained el dente pasta instead of grating it. crumble it into tiny bits and wash your hands before you touch your junk. stinky!mix pasta and cheesy morsels, pour chunky sauce onto it, stir again.that was pretty fast and easy (and if you’re lucky - fucking tasty), yet you don’t feel like a foul bachelor frog eating a dinner of dull canned pasta sauce. yep!
Mimi likes seaweed
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he…